The Engineer in me misses being an Engineer| Struggles of an Engineer-turned-Writer
A few days ago, my dad shared some numbers with me, which he wanted me to go through. It was just a big price broken down into different parties and the division of costs, overheads, amount earned, etc.
I hadn’t seen such numbers since I left my last company 2 years ago and started my freelance writing career. Even during this work, I had my fair share of Excel work that I did to report my amount earned.
While I was doing the numbers, my curiosity was sparked and somehow, my inner Engineer (who loved to solve complex and complicated problems) was channeled. I LOVED CRUNCHING THOSE NUMBERS with clarity so much, that the 2 people who saw those numbers, LOVED how accurate my representation was.
And that’s when it occurred to me.
No matter how successful I become, I will never say that I HATE Engineering. I will never label myself as someone who didn’t like Engineering and pursued Freelancing instead.
Instead, I will say that my skills and curiosity were never utilized by the right employer.
I realized it way before anyone else did because a lot of people think that there is growth in the process.
I’ll be very honest with you! The reason I left my Engineering Degree in dust is because of the MONEY! And I’m not ashamed of my decision.
Anyone who judged my decision in the beginning, later reached out to me to ask how I do it.
Even my parents, who had a hard time telling people that their son is a freelancer turned Engineer, are now seeing the worsening condition of the economy of my country. An economy where everyone is struggling, but Alhamdolillah their son is thriving.
Despite the fact that Freelancing is helping me achieve my goals of earning an ideal life,
Despite the fact that Freelancing is helping me help others in gaining financial sustainability,
I still miss tackling complex math problems with a pen and paper, while my phone calculator shows me the numbers.
I kinda wish that the people from 30 years ago, who struggled to build their businesses by engaging in bribes, delayed payments, and inadequate use of force. I wish they hadn’t done that.
Because of them, there’s a new generation who are compelled to put their 16 years of Education aside and drive Careems and InDrivers (not that there’s anything wrong with it) just to make their monthly payments.
There’s a new generation who is lining up at the Passport office, then to the degree verification office, just to immediately jump ship and emigrate.
There’s a new generation of degree holders, compelled to the only opportunities for moneymaking in Pakistan (real estate, freelancing, and opening a restaurant business)
It’s disappointing that, because I’m a part of this generation, I never let that Engineer inside me come out. Because I fear empty pockets more than starting fresh.
So I carry on in my journey with decent pocket money (Alhamdolillah) but also an unfulfilled internal desire to pursue Engineering.
